Billet-doux ONE

Hope

2009-11-02T15:33:00.002+08:00

Words cannot express how much i want to break free from this vicious cycle right now. Sometimes i wonder why we have to conform to society's standards - almost in everything in life when we compete for top positions just so we can have things go our way in the forseeable future. But this view admittedly, is biased. It would be hard not to be, especially since i am part of this struggle right now, where i feel all my hopes are based on this one performance, that spans for a mere 2 weeks. My whole life, my dreams all depend on my efforts now, and i have no choice but to fight. There are times i feel so discouraged, and moments where my future seems bleak and devoid of any hope.

But one thing i have learnt, especially during my O levels, is faith. Faith that everything will be okay in the end. Faith that even when things are not going my way, they will in time. And in 'living life', I learnt not to use the word 'hope' in such a flippant manner - that is, we should not ever say that 'we hope things are going to be okay'. Using the word in such a way associates 'hope' with a hint of uncertainty and doubt. 'Hope' should be used in a way such that we KNOW things are going to be okay. And so, right here and now, i entrust my A Levels to you Lord, whatever the outcome. I place in your hands all my aspirations and my whole life, and I know things are going to be okay because you are faithful and merciful. I won't worry what the future holds, because I know you know.

-

2009-06-05T08:59:00.000+08:00

No more blogging for me. Bye to blogs for good.

FOR JASMINE

2009-05-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

Happy 20th Wedding Anniversary!

2009-05-13T22:53:00.003+08:00

Cool! 20 years(:
Thank you for everything!

-

2009-05-13T22:41:00.003+08:00

Time flies.

Tired. SOV tomorrow. To be frank, can't wait till it ends. 7 years of choral singing. Just about enough. Might miss it, but I definitely ain't joining any choir any time soon. But that said, I totally want to end my choir journey with a blast. Really hope tomorrow we'll all do great. After tomorrow it'll be time to get my priorities right. I have got to shift my focus. All hindrances, obstacles, whatever, outta the way. I'm past wasting my time on trivial, superficial crap anymore. Life is too short to care about what we don't have, but rather, we should appreciate what we do have. Can't wait. Can't wait.

-

2009-04-25T01:56:00.002+08:00

Today when Samantha asked me how life is, it dawned upon me - just how tired I am. Mentally, Physically, Emotionally - Whatever. It's just that there is a limit to my patience, to people who have no consideration, to situations which are so trying. And yeh, in a way I'm really upset that my parents don't let me go for the choir trip in June. Or I was. Because come to think of it, they are right. My throat - it's worsening everyday, and since Christmas carolling. 5 months. Hey, it's no joke. It's not like lately there's a lot of phlegm, it's just cough. Dry cough. And the last thing I wanna do is remove my tonsils. But I really wanted to go because it would definitely be my last time singing with the choir, or any other choir for that matter. Guess I'll just have to make do with SOV being my last event with VJChoir. However, I really do thank God for sustaining me all this while. To be honest, I cannot believe that now I'm still able to sing since my right tonsil is inflamed (the doctor described it as a cobblestone). Anyway, lately it's all been like this: ---------------------------- for me. Yes. One straight old boring line. Mundane? Guess so. But I would definitely say, an improvement compared to last year. At least now I have a clearer goal.

But today one thing really brightened up my day:

DEBORAHGUOWEIXIAN
i'm really glad i have you in class to be my moral compass and to guide me through everything. it's really awesome tht you will always have cute stickers that i can steal from you to stick on my lecture notes. haha. somehow for this CTs i couldnt really find the motivation to get started but seeing your drive makes me feel like i should do it too, since we're in almost every single thing together. sometimes its really pretty amazing if you actually take a step back and think. like how we have a sister of the same age and how we both take our piano exam and how we have cca on the same days and how we always think of the same thing. i seriously think you're my doppel ganger! haha. anw, thanks for LIGHTING up my life and must continue to motivate me for CT2 and prelims and As! & even though you dont like to hear it but i have to say it. i love you. haha!

Lol I cannot believe I didn't see this earlier la.

JASMINETANHUIMIN!!!!!!!!
I too, am super blessed to have you in the class. Without you, I don't think I would be able to keep up with what is happening in class now, get food in between lessons when my eyes just wna close, laugh like a mad woman, find my very own doppel ganger and confide. YOU should totally motivate me too and continue to be my beacon and beloved blue friend! It's not merely 'pretty amazing' but rather A-MA-ZING how you and I could be so alike yet have differences which make us individuals and not clones. It's funny cos when I talk to you, I feel like I'm talking to my other half because I sorta know the answers you are gonna tell me but I still ask you questions because the answers(which I sorta know you will give) are an affirmation. Lol I really hope you get what I mean la. Thank you thank you thank you for everything, like seriously. You totally brightened up my day with this ancient post of yours. So sorry I didnt get to see it sooner!

PS: I'm not from a girl's school!!!!!

/We will run, altogether our hearts aflame.

2009-04-14T23:17:00.002+08:00

At the crossroads.

Right looks promising, but I can't choose on my own.

I only realised how much I miss night runs after running tonight.

The race to the finish begins.

14/4 - 14/11.

7 months. Consistency, Determination, Perserverance.

It shall be done.

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2

-

2009-04-12T23:19:00.001+08:00

I miss you like crazy.

2009-04-10T20:03:00.002+08:00

you know, this blog is getting useless. I can't portray those feelings with preciseness and all those reflected tend to be on the superficial side. ARGH.

-

2009-03-24T20:46:00.004+08:00

havent blogged in ages. And aiyah March holidays passed way too quickly.
I'm still tired, and there seems to be this burden I've been carrying lately. I cannot seem to point out just what it is, but it's been there since Idontknowwhen. Thus, it is sorta making me wonder if I haven't been seeking You enough, if I havent really been listening out. I feel this restlessness about me, and life is beginning to become mundane and almost too routine. Sometimes I wna reach You at a higher level, but there seems to be this barrier, and I feel empty - like a shell. Help me, Lord, oh help me.

During March Hols went to watch like two movies. Marley and Me AND Push.
Marley and Me really made me think of my dog, Bingo. He's such a darling and I'd be really sad if anything untoward happened to him. So yes, of course the movie made me cry, especially towards the end. But I definitely feel the plot was really draggy and could have been shortened. The 2 hour movie really seemed as if it were 3 hours instead.

Yeh anyway I just bathed Bingo this Sunday(: And now he smells all nice, except for his doggy breath:X

Some pics I took with my new Camera that I got from the IT fair:

BINGO BATHES!

Before he bathed.

Going to bathe!

All soapy and wet!

Getting dried!

He likes to shape his own Schnauzer beard!

Slightly drier:)

Sun bathing!

Waiting to be hair-dried!

Haha slightly irritated there (he hates being hair-dried).

Waiting to be combed!

Fur being combed by yours truly:)

All done and doing the Sir Stamford Raffles pose:D

See Bingo ish sh0 cutezxs.

Oh yeh and Push was a cool movie. Totally hope Push II will come out.

Yeh that's all for now folks. May update abt choir camp soon.

Toodles(:

why not take a crazy chance.

C=Chinese!

2009-03-08T08:14:00.001+08:00

C is for Chinese,
O is for Oral.
Eh wait. I meant M.

(:

They cut.

2009-03-04T21:21:00.000+08:00

Papery Words.
Sometimes I wish I couldn't understand.

/Quiz

2009-03-03T23:51:00.002+08:00

Saw this quiz on xinyi's blog and decided to give it a go. Wah, quite true leh.

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

/Cross-Country '09

2009-03-01T20:59:00.004+08:00

Haha yeh. 65th. Way better than last yr's when I got like 678th:X

wo0t(:
Thank God for good weather on friday when it could have rained. Instead it rained on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. How Great is our God:D

Piano Exam Day.

2009-02-24T13:57:00.001+08:00

Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today.

Exodus 14:13

:)

2009-02-23T23:25:00.001+08:00

Jiayou, Deborah!

/Friendship Day celebrations.

2009-02-13T23:23:00.003+08:00

ahh this week has been hectic. I'm serious. 2 lit essays to rush soon after this, and then piles of homework to be done. Not to mention that i'm fighting for time to do my own self-study for the CTs, and yet at the same time struggling to FIND time just to practise piano, which now reigns the top of my list.

PIANOPIANOPIANO. Exam in a little less that two weeks, and boy oh boy am i stressed. But NOT stressed OUT amen. Haha even in this seemingly a battle time, I am so glad to have a comrade who goes through whatever I am going through now with me. Thank God for knowing I need motivation. Jasmine a.k.a SMURF, I really really thank God for you. Gosh, you go through literally EVERY similar thing with me. I can't believe how blessed I am. And safe to say, you LIT up my life la. Not the other way round. And not to say I've left out my other friends, hehe. Y'all rock la. TGIF, Secondary sch friends, Cell mates, SAMSAM, etc:D

"But those who seek the Lord will lack no good thing." Psalm 34:10 (NIV)

And yet, I'm so glad I've ended off the last week day of the week with congre meeting. Today's congre meeting really helped set my heart right with God. I definitely feel much lighter now, and I left the place feeling happier yay(:
Really wanted to talk to Sam but it was okay, another time! And yes, I really am happy that I realised I've grown to become more sensitive to certain things, and okay I've matured I think. A litttttttle bitty bit! Haha shucks wo bu yao na me kuai zhang da la!
I can't wait to share with TGIF next week, a revelation and clearer aim to exactly where we are headed. Look forward to it you guys!

God bless all you guys out there, and HAPPY EARLY FRIENDSHIP DAY!
I hope I became braver. haha, that's all that matters, doesn't it? (:

/Orientation week.

2009-02-09T18:22:00.009+08:00

haha aside from slacking i totally forgot to post how this week has been hmmm. A rather interesting week.

While others were having orientation/ helping out during orientation, WE MADE GLUE FROM MILK okay. HOW COOL IS THAT YO?! Nownow, don't think it sounds dull kayyy. Cos it isn't. And Deborah = happyHAPPY when in the end my glue became GREEN (cos I added greeeeen colouring:D:D). I LIKE!

Yes, and I thought of crashing orientation from monday to thurs, but in the end, shucks i didnt know I could be sooooo KUAI. NEVER PON! HEHE. Kay fine. The feeling is niceeeey nice. And there was this day when ONLY 6 ppl came for classes. Madness lah.

Oh, and with BAOJIN being the only guy. Now we truly know who's the kuai-est guy in class, and he effectively came for just ONE lesson: GP. Cos the other was chem enrichment, which we SO DO NOT need. And GP in the end was spent watching some Vietnamese movie. Gosh! See how kuai not! Wah peifu, peifu.

Anyway, I wanted to crash so on fri after 'picnic' with the class, crashed SEA REGATTA. Hung ard with class girls and then after that joined JiaLing:D

Oh, picnic is in ' ......' because it wasn't really a sit-down affair and everything. We had macs breakfast, and then we went class cycling and stuffs. Played 'catching the mouse'.

In the night went for Mass Dance at Suntec. Haha was rather nice! Picspics:

Haha. Oh and last one. Wait for it, wait for it:

Cool right! With Mr Chan Poh Meng, Our School Principal:D

Then on Sunday went for Teens Leaders Training workshop:D

Oh well, on a side note, my throat is really bad now. The right tonsil is inflamed and its like almost blocking the opening to the right side of my throat. Gna see doctor later once mummy comes back. ARGH. My cough has been getting worse since Christmas carolling, and I can't believe even with this cough I still signed up to sing for Friendship Day. Madness wo0ts.

/The Slacker Girl (it's all Flora's fault).

2009-02-08T22:56:00.002+08:00

Deborah is a slacker ughughughughugh. What has she done with the super nice weekend? Nothing. Shucks.

Nononononono. Cannot alr. Must start clearing all doubts and stuff. New Year Resolutions remember? Flora, you are such a bad influence on Deborah.

No gym, No running on track, no work, no clearing doubts, makes Deborah a slacker girl.

Deborah, it's time to take control.

Deborah: The last activity you will ever decide to do will be singing for Friendship Day! Whyever did you choose that song? I have no voice!

Flora: Aiya, I also have no voice. But by friday should have right? If not then just pia la. Risk mah. Okay la okay la, I don't slack alr, so then you won't slack!

/I'm gna navigate straight to you.

2009-01-25T00:20:00.003+08:00

Korkor came back from army today.
I'm amazed at how much I didn't realise I missed him until I saw him.
He's become tanner, more muscular and definitely nicer to look at.
Haha during our family dinner he was asked tons of questions(:
Anw so very happy he's back to spend CNY with us.
I just wish CNY will last longer.
He's gg back on Tuesday the 27th and I wont see him for another two wks.
I just really wna thank God for keeping Kor safe and blessing him so much in Army.
Can't really say anything much cos you guys know - it's army stuff so yeh.

Anw, Class outing was rather fun and exceeded my expectations.
Bride Wars is a really nice movie.
Haha I love chick flicks and romance comedy genres.
They rock:D

Reunion dinner with daddy's side was one of the nicest ones in a long while.

I really thank God for this whole week(:

/Cos' if anyone can make me fall in love, you can.

2009-01-18T23:08:00.002+08:00

This week is gna be a challenging week for me.
So many changes, and so lil' time.

Getting used to choir starting again after Christmas.
Still don't understand International Trade.
Study sessions still arent as fruitful as I want them to be.
Piano Exam coming soon.
(After finishing grade8 I wna learn guitar!)
Gym is gonna close till 15feb. Sadded la. ):

Well improvement needed. Argh.

That aside, still several things to give thanks to God for(:

Haha CELL lao yu sheng today!
I like my new teachers!
There is no more PW!
(and hopefully there wont be anymore chinese!)
Choir has started!
This year is gonna be a super fulfilling one!
Nice study date with Jon and Joey.
TGIF!
The whole house more or less to myself from monday to thursday! Except for papa and mummy who will be around, korkor is at army and dot will be leaving for pahang camp tmr!
I still have a school track to run on.
Thursday catch up with sis! (tentative)
Friday there is CNY celebration, so it's one school day off this hectic week ahead!
Friday class outing!
Saturday talks with bestie!
Mails from bestie(:
Friday korkor is coming back from army:D
Can't wait for Orientation! haha crashing time!

haha so many more. But yeah. See! there are more good things than bad things!

And many a time, trials are placed in front of us so we can improve. God definitely won't give me something I can't handle!

Every new day, your glory unfolds.
Filling my eyes with your treasures untold.
The beauty of holiness brings worship anew.
My GREATEST love is you(:

/Happy Armyin' Bro.

2009-01-06T23:25:00.004+08:00

haha new post new post. havent blogged since the new year post. Well, very happy today. But before I start, time in on com: 11.25. Time I aim to get off: 11.30. No msn no nothing. Quick post.

Yeh as I said, very happy today(: We finally have a FAMILY meal together. Like including my brother which we havent had in ages. Yeh reason: He's going off to army tomorrow. Like how time flies!

Anw, I really really feel God's blessings upon me this year. It's just that everything this year seems to have perfect timing. Church time has been shifted to 10.00am just nice during my Alvl year. And then (not that I want korkor to go army) but he is going off on my a level year and so I can use his room to study. And trust me. His room has the perfect ambience. There's just this aura about it, like cos he studied for A levels in there. And I feel so blessed to have all the notes/materials I need to study cos he donated all of them to me. But I still want VJC's J2 notes! And then Sam can teach me Chem and oh look the time now is 11.30 and it looks like I'm about to exceed.

Oh and not forgetting my mum told me we may not be moving out so I will still have my beloved gym which I have come to love. And the thing is that now it's not closed down but it will close down on 19th Jan and reopen on 15th feb but no worries cos I just found a new place to run around and that will be school and oh look im babbling cos I have no time to think I need to go off soon. And shucks look its 11.32 next time I shall give myself more time so that I will reach my aim.

Haha anw meeting Sam tomorrow and then she'll be teaching me chem (see I'm so blessed:D)! I have learnt how to be more patient but now when mummy grumbles I just talk to her calmly so I'm pretty proud of myself. Haha can't wait! Looks like this year is gna be a great year. And well I made a card for korkor and put it in an envelope and asked my dad to pass to him tmr and say that he has a letter from "don't-know who".

See this is the cover. Very nice right!:D

Well happy armyin' korkor! I want you to win an award!

Haha. K bye people. I exceeded my aim by 15minutes. Its 11.45! AHHH.

Cheers to An End, and A New Start!

2009-01-01T14:51:00.002+08:00

1st post of 2009 YO!

As 2008 has passed, I just reflect on how it has been full of ups and downs, how it has passed by just like that. And this year for me was mostly about relationships. How especially during the end-of-year hols, relationships have been restored by God's grace. Yesterday even during the church countdown, for the last few minutes of 2008, I remember feeling caught in between. What, I do not know. But as I look back one year ago, O levels - which at the point of time was like a huge mountain to me, and looking forward one year from now to A levels, I was amazed at how time flies. And I remember sharing with WanLing during church camp how I felt like 2008 for me was like a failure. How the choir failed to even get into the Grand Finals. How I failed my Grade8 Piano Exam. How I failed almost all my subjects for Promos, having to take Maths and Chem R-papers, and if not for the extra mark given, I would have to take Econs too. How the relationships in my family felt wrecked, and some friendships, broken. But then, guess what. The months of November or December made up for it. How even after church camp, miraculously relationships, one by one, all restored. Amazing. From 2008, there are definitely things I learnt along the way, some things I wouldn't want to repeat and some things I would want to work on more. And the Good thing is that I CAN improve on them in the year 2009. Church Countdown was fab. Last moments of 2009 spent with wonderful people who love the Lord.

There are so many people I wna thank. But it's so so so so so many, I wouldn't wna write them out now, would I? So people, I'm sure you would know if I wna thank you!

But, most importantly, I wna thank God who has been ever faithful.

Haha, so now, here's to a new year 2009!
Wo0ts. Got many things in store.

R-papers
Grade8 Piano Exam coming up in feb/march.
SYF
SOV May 14th at the Esplanade
Austria Trip
Common Tests
Prelims
A Levels

These few plus many others. Sounds pretty busy eh? Yet, I'll bet it's gonna be so fulfilling, and that's what would make it memorable won't it? So yeh. New Year resolutions already made. And nah, it's gna remain private. Until at the end of this Year.

Happy and Blessed New Year people!

Till next time, toodles!

/Oh yeh.

2008-12-30T01:23:00.002+08:00

oh yeh, this is priceless. Did I mention? Last night, or since its like 1.23am, 2 nights ago, I dreamt I gave birth. Crap. Must be the motherly instincts shucks. HAHAHA.

Choir Farewell Partaye 2008!

2008-12-30T00:55:00.007+08:00

Choir Farewell Party today was really meaningful and fun. The theme? GEEK. Went to borrow a camera from Xinyi a.k.a SIS today:D:D

Met alex at her hse today for a swim and supposed studying but we didnt study at all today:X

Haha the picts we took together were really nice:) (alex if you see this send me the picts frm your phone!)

yepyep. Took loads of picts at the Farewell Party. A pity not all the seniors came, but at least most did! hehe. Many thanks to SIS for the picts today, which wld not hv been possible if not for the camera. Gosh how I wish I had one of those things!

Anw, pictures up soon ppl.

Deborah won the most CREATIVE award today! yay! haha. She wore a pink blouse and pasted a label "I'M THE GEEK IN THE PINK". On top of that she wore really GEEKY specs which she bought for a cheap price of 2 bucks at daiso. She wore blue shorts to show off the LONG blue soccer socks that she borrowed from her bro. And she wore track shoes. So basically she was a fashion disaster that made her really GEEKY. heheh.

Tmr Deborah has decided to study solo in sch. Gosh she needs to study. Deborah needs to study. After which she's gna meet xinyi at kembangan, go her hse to run an errand and then go with her and Dorothyguo to eat at BTK. hahah yay. A good substitute for Popeyes which Deb can't eat cos she still has cough.

Yep. That's all for now. Toodles people!:D

:(

2008-12-26T15:42:00.000+08:00

argh. my gym is closed until 15th feb. Howhowhow.

CHRISTMAS present is here today, bringing joy that lasts.

2008-12-26T01:06:00.004+08:00

Haha. Christmas this year was funnn. Somehow carolling makes Christmas all the more meaningful, that is, if you really mean what you sing.

And today, yes. Christmas is a time to celebrate and give gifts to others. But who remembered what Christmas was all about? The true meaning? To celebrate Jesus's birthday! haha. So before I say anything,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS:D:D:D:D:D

K. Now for the announcement that Deborah has officially lost her voice. It's so low she can be an alto. And Deborah feels like she's gna fall ill any moment!

But other than that, the GRAND REUNION, the gifts and cards. OH yeh, thanks to Robin (my santa claus) for the really cute white bear (with a GREEN scarf and hat thingy)!! Aunty Kat's Christmas Part was cool too!!! Lol I was carrying this baby called Clare/Claire/however you spell it, and she was really cute. AWWWW. shucks. Maternal instincts. hehehe. I want children toooooooo!

And it's holiday seasons and occasions like this when I wish I had a camera. Seeing how everyone was taking pictures with everyone, ARGH. I want a cameraaaaaaaaa!

Well, anw, HAPPY BOXING DAY people!!!

PS: What's boxing day ah?

hahaha,
with lotsa love,
DEB.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!

2008-12-24T22:20:00.004+08:00

YYYYYYYYYOhh.

Carolling carolling through the snow. Christmas bells are ringing!!!!!

Hahaha. Christmas tomorrow (ie. less than 2hrs time), CAN'T WAIT.

I'm so gonna miss carolling after it's all over. Realllyreallymucho.

Anyway, feeling guilty cos I havent gone GYM in TWO days. Crappo. Yes, but for valid reasons. Yesterday cos' I had a really bad flu, and today (even though I was well enough to go) there was no electricity there:( AHH sway sia.

WARNING: RANTING AHEAD.

Shucks I can already feel my muscles degenerating, and the flab returning, and the abs which are hidden behind my fats shrinking. GOSH. And also aside from not gymming these two days I have also been eating more than usual (perhaps because carolling really takes up lotsa energy lol). Therefore, in summary, I feel fatter than normal these past few days than the previous holiday days. And call it a routine, superstition, whatever. I have to do lotsa stuff to have the perfect night gym session, one of which is to GO ALONE. It's okay if neighbours come cos I don't really know them. But gym sessions are meant (I feel) for me to reflect and get away from the world. That's the reason why I DO NOT bring my handphone(people can contact me), nor my mp3(it contains music of the world). But apparently my sister just can't comprehend WHY I have to be alone. Haha. Maybe the rest of the world won't too. ARGH but it's infuriating. I purposely go to the GYM in the night so as to avoid the crowd (of neighbours - yes i don't mind them but preferably I'm alone) and so I go at the most untimely hour of the day - 10pm. And suddenly, she has to follow me. I mean - forgive me for my superstition, but is it really wrong to want to be alone for but 45 minutes? RAWR. okay forgive me for wanting to be alone for less than an hour, but just leave me alone!!!!!

END OF RANTING.

Yes, anyway, with Christmas coming, so is a new year. And soon, I will need to plan my new year resolutions (importantimportant since the coming year is my As!!!)

And in order to plan them, I need to know what I want to achieve next year. Hahaha. This year's new year resolutions will be personal. But once I achieve them over the year 2009, i will list them out at the end of 2009. Wo0ts. So people pray and hope that I achieve them so I can list them out for all you people who are (dying to know?).

Gotta go, blog soon. Merry Christmas Eve peeps:D

/Pre-Christmas thoughts.

2008-12-21T23:41:00.007+08:00

mmm. went to church today for christmas celebration service. It's times like these I wish I've my own camera. I felt this year's celebration was rather well rehearsed, and I really enjoyed myself much. After that, trained down for carolling sessions. Yeah, you could say it's rather fun. but carolling isn't as fresh or as new to me as it was last year when I was a year zero. The excitement of meeting new people last yr, and the carefree days where you did not have to touch any books or notes made year zero days really fun:D

but now, we year ones, or should I say we soon-to-be year twos have to worry about studying, worry about the coming R-papers (fine those that have it like me) and common tests, the STRESS, the weariness that is coming upon us, ALL THAT - whilst carolling. Yes, carolling is fun. Carolling is really meaningful(:

Whilst carolling I feel this happiness and warmth that I am spreading Christmas Joy to others. But suddenly I feel tired, and while this holiday is coming to an end, I really need to recharge. Well, what can I say. Year Zeroes, enjoy yourselves while these carefree days last, and at the same time be prepared to really organise your time, and before school starts, be prepared to realise that you should study with CONSISTENCY and not follow in my footsteps. After having this mindset to strive for excellence in all you do, it is there and then that you will succeed.

As for me, I am praying - real hard. Lord, please give me strength.

Let your heart be light.
From now on your troubles
will be out of sight.
From now on your troubles
will be miles away.

/Camp SHINE!

2008-12-14T20:18:00.003+08:00

Wo0t. Tribe camp was one word. Awesome! (:(:

So glad that we were so readily accepted into our new tribe. And I gotta say, this has been the BEST CHURCH CAMP like, everrrrr.

Really felt the presence of the Lord real strongly especially on Saturday night, and the reflection and processing sessions really caused me to ponder about how satisfied I am with my spiritual walk with God.

Special thanks to everyone who made this camp possible!!!

I am so ready to SHINE for Him! Just watch me.

Pictures up soon!

/editz!

Credits to Fay's Photobucket:
PICTURES!

Wasn't there on the 1st day. Only there for the second and third(:

Grp Icecream Girls!

The whole group together building a structure made of Icecream Sticks!!!

Working hard:D

zxsxzxs. haha who take one!!! I was making a Cross (:

We had to swap structures with another group and adapt!

Mich and ZJ!

Our whole group with ZJ presenting our beyoutifoooool structure:D

Our dorm!

Reflection time!

Group BingQiLing!

Us again!

Grace with an umbrella (and WanWan)

Sam's fair Leg whacked by Grace! OUCH! (:

ZJ and Zest!(Banana 1 and 2!- Fay gave em the nicknames!)

Sam and WanWan!

Lester and Moxy! AWWW.

Mich and I!

Bryce and I!

LOL.

Zest:)

Lest(h)er!

Us at the expo!

Us again(:

Last pictureeee!

K fine. A last last one! Moxy!(Deaf)

More pics @ faychiam.bs

GREAT CAMP! I know I said it already but whateverrr!

Surrendering my all.

2008-12-09T23:55:00.006+08:00

Read Wayne's blog and that really started me pondering.

How much am I really willing to surrender to God?

The choice Wayne had to make was between running a marathon and going for a church camp.

Maybe some of y'all out there won't understand why this topic is so close to my heart. I mean, running is merely running. So? Actually, lots of preparation work has to be done, and there needs to be much discipline and training in order to keep yourself in good condition for a run. And giving that up for a church camp after ALL you've been through is so difficult. Personally, I play Badminton twice a week and run 3.6km daily just to keep myself fit. It's really hard for me to miss a run because doing so means that I lose momentum. Resting for a day per week is fine, but rare, because I refuse to have a break after i've run daily for, say a month. I want to be able to tell myself that I've run everyday for a month instead of saying I ran 20 days, had a break for one day and then I ran for another 10 days. Okay I sound mad. But in summary, I dislike not running for just a day.

Church camp is gonna be this weekend, and the thing about overseas holidays, or camps, it gets me thinking. Hmm. I'll be missing my run from this period of time to this period. Yeah, in the end I'll go, true, but it's just that my mind will drift off to the runs I'm missing. If I go, won't I be losing momentum? Not following daily routines?

And then Wayne's post got me thinking.

So, really, how much?

And before I go on any further, I want to tell you again, Wayne, even though I already did, that you have been the answer to all these swarming questions in my mind, and truly, an inspiration.

How much will I surrender to God?

It's still hard to answer the Question.

But how much SHOULD I surrender for something SO PRICELESS like being spiritually filled once again, and thus WILL surrender?

Everything.

I shall go to the church camp with no distractions, an open and determined heart, and one purpose: to receive renewed spiritual-filling and the Love of God.

Lord I give you my heart,

I give you my soul,

I live for you alone.

Every breath that I take,

Every moment I'm awake,

Lord have your way in me.

2008-12-06T20:06:00.004+08:00

wow. nov 17th since i last blogged. o.0

hmm. i wouldn't say life has been busy. but i also wouldn't say life hasn't been fruitful.

In order to reach my goals for 2009, I have cultivated a routine which involves basically gymming, studying, church, choir and night reading. Occasional outings but these are kept to a minimum. Sorry if I rejected to go out with anyone due to circumstances. Two reasons: I need to keep my focus. AND. I had something on that day.

After a rather relaxing holiday with my family, I feel I have the strength to last till end of next year. We went to three parts in Malaysia: Malacca, KL and last Penang!

Not forgetting that I WANT to make it for the Austria Trip next year. My parents have already let me, regardless of whatever my common test and Midyear Exam results. But I want to be able to get at least decent results before I allow myself to go on the trip. And so the person who will or will not let me go will ultimately be me.

I just hope I continue being as focussed as I am now. No distractions, no sidetracking.

Just for the record, this year I felt like I accomplished NOTHING. None of my 2008 new year resolutions happened, and I feel like a failure. True, a few more days left till the end of this year, and so I still have time to make a difference, and I will. And this motivated spirit to accomplish goals SHALL continue till the end of 2009, and hopefully more.

heh yummy pasta for my birthday dinner with my family at Prego! Yes. I know, it was over like super long.

A closer View!

Us(:

Dot and I.

Me at home with my birthday cake from AWFULLY CHOCOLATE(:

The soft toys I received for my birthday! HUGE DOG(Honey)- From dot, SMALL DOG(Sally)- From KX and Jasmine, GREEEEEEEEN CAREBEAR(Clover) - From Jonathan and Joey!

Dot and I camwhoring(obviously) in the hotel room(:

Met Xinyu whom I havent seen for SEVEN years. She was from my International School in Xiamen!!!(:

haha we were playing in the adventure zone(for kids:X) Haha but super fun la. There was this slide which was like 2 storeys high and vertical, and which only supported you towards the end of the slide down. In other words, it was super steep and so it felt like you were jumping off a building 2 storeys high. (:

Pictures stop for a while here(:

_____________________________________________________

Meanwhile, I'm stranded outside, as in I can't go in my room until tomorrow night as the floor in my room has varnish on it. And so, I can't get clothes to go to church tomorrow. The only clothes I have outside are: shirts and FBTs. :X
Let's see what I think of tomorrow.

To end of, cool stuff yo. K la, a lil' cool, but erm very ah beng. :/

BOO. Haha. my bro's haircut. He's one word. He's MAD. But anyway, he'll be shaving off all his hair come january when he goes to army. So no diff(:

THANKS MUCH(:

2008-11-17T23:23:00.003+08:00

Many thanks to all who made my birthday a happy one(:

For all the sms-es.
For all the presents.
For all the GREEN stuff wootz.
For all the blessings and wishes.
For all the hugs.

For all the love.

I have finally become 17, and I would like to thank papa and mummy for bringing me up for a FULL 17 years. WOW.

And most importantly, THANK YOU GOD. For blessing me so much and keeping me safe for 17 years.

I feel old. And I simply can't believe one year has passed just like that. But yeh. It was a BEAUTIFUL DAY.

Packedandreadytogo!

2008-11-09T00:56:00.006+08:00

I have spent the past few days packing. Been enjoying my holidays so far, and wo0t. It really feels like holidays, like finally. Haha free of PW! Anw, I took pictures of my GPF. Gay? I know. But still, for a yellow memory's sake:

Although, I doubt I will be going on an overseas holiday due to some irritatingz circumstances. ARGH. Thought I could use a break before J2 came. But then again, the dates havent come yet, so all isn't confirmed. At least not yet.

I have already extracted my wisdom tooth, and nope. Doesn't really hurt as much as I anticipated it to. Not much pain except for the swelling, and all is well. Gonna extract the left one on Monday so that I can enjoy my brithday in time!

Anyway, I feel a great sense of accomplishment. My room is finally so clean, and I can start studying for real already. Can't wait! Although, it didn't really help that there was dust flying everywhere while I was cleaning up, and cobwebs in all the corners that the cloth I used turned black time and time again. The result? A nose that runs like a tap. I am allergic to dust. Okay, scrap that. I am EXTREMELY allergic to dust. The moment there is a teenytinyminisculesmallbiddybit, my nose suddenly has its own brains. Yep... but still, that doesn't lessen the sense of accomplishment still! Well, you feel it, wouldn't you?

Afterall, imagine. Before, your table looked like:

And after...

Packing and I saw all the GREEN stuff. Happy siolz!

Haha. Crocodile = hippo's EVIL twin! They look alike, except for the eyes!

And isn't hippo cute?(:

Haha got bored during packing, and Dot took pictures of gay shadows.

Okay get ready for the camwhore ultimatum with DorothyGuoWeiting. We went to T3 Popeyes (YUMMY!) for lunch!

POPEYES!

The blur/dumb/tootish look!(:

And lastly, my fav! haha. the rocker dude pose! -:

Patience, the time will come.

OVER!

2008-11-07T01:07:00.003+08:00

Haha, Finally. Finally I can truly enjoy my hols and make full use of it without having to work on PW or chinese.

It's not that I dislike PW. Actually, if everyone co-operates in PW, the subject won't even interfere much with our schedules. Now that I have a clearer idea of PW, I think I can re-do again without finding it much of a hassle. But no thanks. I do not want to experience PW ever again. Yet, I would like to thank BaoJin and Syikin who worked so well with me for PW. Thanks you guys for being so understanding and really helping so that we could submit a presentable Written Report and OP Slides. Without you guys I think I think PW would totally become a chore and a subject I hate doing. Ya'll have no idea how much I appreciate your efforts(:

Went to extract one wisdom tooth today. It hasn't started hurting yet, and I'm not sure if it's because of the painkillers or what. I'm beginning to think I won't suffer from any pain at all. Even during the surgery there was no pain. I didn't even feel the tooth come out at all lol. Well, we'll wait and see if it begins to hurt. Gna have to extract the bottom left one on Monday.

After that went sch to sign the GPF cover page and ALL WAS COMPLETE! Spent the rest of the day packing up my stuff - which trust me, is A LOT. After this time of packing, I will not touch my stuff until A Levels end next year, so I must remind myself to keep things neat so that I'll be motivated to study. Done with organising all my files and now they are super easy to refer to! REAL proud of myself.

On a side note, there are only 55 days left to the start of 2009. And THAT, is super scary la. By tomorrow I shld be done packing and maybe I'll be gin to schedule(:

I'm craving for Xiao Long Baos! Oh yeh. Seeing green makes me really happy. It just totally makes my day. While I was packing my stuff I saw a pile of green stuff and I laughed to myself. GREEN makes me weird. Heh:D

/Last two!

2008-11-01T22:50:00.006+08:00

Well well well. What a week.
I was looking at my watch (which has the date) and I realised today was already the 1st of November or 1/11/2008.
Once this realisation hit home it scared the shit out of me. Gosh. One year has almost passed since O levels. This year has passed more quickly than the last. Madness.

Chinese is officially over. Please please please NOT let me retake again. Papa and Mummy asked me how I think I did, and seriously I did not know how to answer that. Like you know, for some papers, you simply don't know how you did. I really hope this is a good sign, but then the paper was rather demanding. There were tough choices to be made between two close answers.

Left with OP and I&R and I'll be freeeeeeeee!

Then after the paper I went to Raffles with Steven, Cheryl, WenSiu and PinLang for a job interview. But apparently the job wasnt suitable cos' it clashes with our Christmas Carolling Dates:( And DUH, carolling is a MUST GO!!! I wouldn't miss it for the world! So we couldn't sign up for the job.

Ah well, here's what's coming up (tentative):

5th Nov - PW Oral Presentation
6th Nov - Wisdom Tooth Extraction (AWW man, this isi gonna hurt - so I heard)
6th to 10th Nov - MC (due to wisdom tooth extraction)
8th Nov - CIP
14th Nov - Birthday Celebration with my dear spiritual family
15 Nov - Birthday Celebration with KX and Jas(:
16 Nov - 17th Birthday + Church + Dinner with Family
18th Nov - End of Korkor's A Lvls and thus RAMPAGE OF HIS ROOM FOR USEFUL J2 NOTES!!!
20th to 25th Nov - Overseas Holiday to China (supposedly)

Once I come back = studystudystudy!!!

Carolling Dates (CAN'T WAIT!):
11 Dec
13 Dec
18-25 Dec

我的华文考试

2008-10-30T06:50:00.001+08:00

OH YEAH. Last Chinese Exam, here I come(:

Chinese As and PW!

2008-10-28T23:05:00.003+08:00

Haha I can't believe how many words I've checked out with my super old Chinese-English Dictionary. Like numerous! Yep, but it's rather fun checking. So fun that I even brought that SUPER ultraultraULTRA heavy dictionary to school today! Hahahahaha. I think I'm addicted to checking the dictionary, and no, I'm not being sarcastic. Chinese 'As' on Thursday and boy can't I wait for that as well as Project Work to be over! Imagine if I didn't have PW and Chinese, THREE MONTHS HOLIDAY! GOSH, THAT WOULD BE SWEEEEEEET!

More Chinese now, guess I'll blog more about the latest happenings soon! (maybe) (:

Anger

2008-10-20T22:07:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I may overreact, and yes. I know I'm not good at managing my anger.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.’ “But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also."

Matthew 5:38-39

And yet, I failed to do that. I failed miserably. I fired back angry words. And I shouldn't have. I should have just let it go, let it pass me. But then again, no one had ever EVER infuriated me this much before, even during the four years in Secondary School. I really pray that at times like this, God will just remind me. Being angry just isn't a virtue and before judging others, maybe I should just look at what i did wrong. I really don't know if I asked for too much. I don't know if calling merely calling 6 organisations is too vexing. Well, I can say for myself that it isn't, but views vary, don't they?

Next time, just slap me on my left cheek too. Don't worry. I'll let you.

Maybe part of why I broke down was because I felt my control slip away. Perhaps because I knew that whatever I said back wasn't pleasing to Him. I'm so sorry I let You down. I'm so sorry that my flesh was weak. Please help make my spirit man stronger.

"Deborah, don't complain. Love my people as I love you. Love my people as I love them."

Okay, I won't any longer.

/edit/
I really can't believe I apologised. But it was a prompting. And the flesh found it reallyreally hard. But the spirit man surprisingly found it really easy.

/yanyan.

2008-10-18T21:39:00.007+08:00

Okay, I admit. I'm indeed prejudiced against people who smoke. And this is for good reason.

I simply do not understand why they put themselves at risk of getting lung cancer. This is especially so for people with families. Do they not care for their families at all? What if they get a terminal illness? Don't they care at all that their family will suffer because of them?

As a result of their habit, people they don't even know suffer as well. Every single time I see a cigarette, I don't breathe. I hold my breath, and it has become a habit since the moment I smelled the smell of cigarette smoke. I mean, don't people find it revolting? Like, from the instance you smelled cigarette smoke, don't tell me you like it? It's almost impossible.

Okay, so anyway, why am I on this topic? Basically, it concerns me a lot. I totally felt healthy today la. I went for a swim because I felt that I under-utilised my condo pool and also because I haven't swam in ages. Finished swimming and felt very happy because while I was swimming I thought of a great plan to carry out during the holidays, which is to go gymming in the early morning (so that I dont waste my morning time sleeping and when sch reopens I will be able to get up on time) and then swim in the night! And then in the middle of the day it will be one of the following: going to jasmine's house to study, going to kaixian's house to study, choir stuff, out with friends, etc.

Ohhhh crap. I'm getting a lil' side-tracked about the holiday thingy. Yeah well, so after the swim I went to bathe at my condo toilet, and guess what. There was this lady clad with a towel and she was smoking. SMOKING in the toilet. Man, I was FUMING MAD. It's one thing to smoke in public and (IN THE OPEN SPACE) but totally another to smoke in a toilet, what more a toilet in a PRIVATE condo. ARGH.

Yeh well, then after that I heard the door of the toilet opening and I thought that lady went out. Then I heard my mum's voice. She was asking me why I didn't bathe at home (haha I didnt wna wet my house floor)and why there was a cigarette smell in the toilet and so I started complaining about the woman, saying something like, " Mummy, I'm really pissed. There was this lady and she was in the toilet smoking. Did you see her? She made the toilet stink so bad, and I can't stand the smell. We should go to the management and complain." After that, I came out of the cubicle and oppshahashit. The woman was GLARING at me. Whoops. It is never my intention to complain or as some people put it, "bitch" about people, especially not in front of them. Guess I learnt my lesson. Should know who is around before I say out everything or anything to vent my anger. But, my stand still holds. I am prejudiced against smokers. And then again, the lady shouldn't have been angry. Whatever I said was true. She made the toilet smell, and thus can be considered inconsiderate. To make matters worse, she doesn't look like she lives in this condo. I really hope this doesn't happen again.

To Where You Are.

2008-10-17T16:03:00.003+08:00

Haha the recording. Argh I was lazy to re-do so this is not fantastic, but then again I love this song heh(:

Hello!

2008-10-16T20:25:00.001+08:00

Hello new blog(:
I just shifted from mybillet-doux.livejournal.com!
Oh well, a recording underway. I love the song To Where You Are by Josh Groban, and I am currently recording it! Okay, fine. Maybe I recorded it already. Everything sounds fine except the High Part. Soon. I'll get it right soon! Yep.

But here's to my new blog! And, I love my new blogskin by the way. Haha, the reason is apparent, isn't it? It's GREEN! (Deborah shrieks with delight and does her evil laughter thang).

Oh, by the way, I think I'm mad:X
I just created 10 blogs on blogspot for my entire life. Don't believe me? Go to "To Come" and see all the links. All mine. Muahahaha!

Well, this blog is also in need of a tagboard! One shall be added in SOON! I'm still trying to get the hang of blogspot.